It’s the first day of Fall. Things are changing. Seasons ending. And I’m expectant. Expectant and excited and ready. Ready for something. New. In fact craving it….something new and real and life changing…shedding off the same old thing…and breathing in new air…and embracing fantastic colors of what my life could be…if I would just let go…of the old…not even knowing what to expect but ready…so ready.
A little sad to see what was sunshine and big watery waves and free days to do nothing but sit in the sand, drinking cold lemonade and swallowing hot sun. Trying, really trying to brown this white girl’s body. Even if it will never happen. But mostly hiding under umbrellas because I already know I’ll be burned and pinkish and peeling. Eating half mushy, almost sweet room temperature strawberries under that same umbrella and bags of Doritos because summer days are not summer without Cool Ranch and Nacho Cheese. And that one unending and unforgettable game of UNO.
That summer moment was real and tangible. It was love at its very best. 100 degrees. And me in my bikini trying to act all cool and confidant, but secretly feeling completely self conscious. And my tribe.
But it’s Fall now. I change. Life changes. And I’m craving the new.
Autumn is starting over. Again. It’s new colors all around me. Peeling off the burnt and dead outer me. To reveal the better me. Shedding those dry and dying leaves and rotting parts that enjoyed summer a little too long. The places that stayed in the fiery sun a little too long. And got burnt in the fire. Enjoying myself a little too much.
We were never meant to stay in summer. Because day after day of the sand and umbrellas and Doritos would eventually become monotonous and boring and make me completely fat and lethargic. And life is completely too beautiful to ever be boring.
Never once in all my life have I been bored. Because I am always running to the new seasons.
And here’s my Autumn hope. To dream again. To wake up refreshed. To go. Because the dream He gave me is too big to sit still. To Fall in love with something new…music I’ve never heard, friends I’ve never met, a place I’ve only read about. So that I can be a stranger somewhere in some strange place that fascinates me and draws me in and I love it mostly because it is brand new and unknown and it smells and sounds and feels absolutely different than anywhere I’ve ever known.
To love someone so much you can’t help but kiss them—a baby or your freckled gorgeous daughter or your puppy or an old person or maybe a stranger (or maybe not), just kiss someone please. To become someone’s best friend. Because you make them better and they make you better. Because you get each other. To live a new adventure. With your best friend. Take a new route. A road untravelled. And you are the first lucky person to find it. And it takes you somewhere to some great adventure. In the Fall.
To love well in this season, but to keep my heart set on God. To give my heart fully to God. Remembering that in summer I was burned. Because people will fail us, but if we allow Him to work through us to love others, not in our own strength or our own flesh, but like He loves others, He will be the keeper of our heart. Not man or desire or flesh. He will protect our hearts from seasons of heartbreak and He will piece us together again. He must protect our hearts, because it is the thing from which everything else good flows. And may I be infinitely good. When others criticize may I praise. When others doubt, may I believe. Even in my failures or others failures, my I find grace. When I am burnt, may I be remade to reveal something even better and fresh. In this season, may all things be made new. In the Fall, may my life be filled up with colors…high brown boots and yellow sweaters and hazel eyes that are filled with hope and sparks and freshly dyed blonde hair and dark blue ripped jeans and a bright crimson heart that beats for new seasons and new life and a brand new me.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
