Every single freckle is accounted for and we have named them one by one. They are my envy and the very thing that makes her perfectly beautiful. She is all the big personality and natural-born leader of her daddy and the competitive spirit and athlete of me. This girl is tender and thoughtful and adventure and overwhelmingly intelligent, completely witty, and fun.
A year ago, as a first grader, she devoted recesses to games that she had created and her loyal devotees played each and every one of them and listened to rule by rule as she dictated. And then she began to race. Time after time, friend after friend, she was hands down the winner. That tiny competitor was absolutely satisfied to leave her classmates in the dust. Her flushed, wet face could not hide her thrill of victory.
The past twenty years of my life have been devoted to circuit workouts, weights, bootcamps, rollerblading, marathon running...anything that can push me further or challenge. Little else brings greater satisfaction, clarity, and peace to me than physical training. It is the balance in my nonstop day.
Two years ago, her and I competed in our first race...Dallas’ Down N’ Dirty Mud Run http://www.downanddirtymudrun.com. The day included rock climbing, mud pits, rope wall, and a grueling walk through the lake. Last year, we got all colored up at Color Me Rad http://www.colormerad.com/. It was every kid’s dream. She and I lost all sense of dignity...powder bursts of color saturated the air, supersoakers filled with rainbow-hued water, and the raddest color party finale to have ever happened. A month ago, UPS sponsored us to get all pinked out for the Susan G, Komen 5k http://ww5.komen.org/. And a week ago, we morphed into Spidergirl and Superwoman for foster kids at Kakes for Kids “Be a Hero” 5khttp://www.kakes4kidsflorida.org/.
This is more than our hobby or pastime. She and I are a team. Race by race, we are conquering the world and bonding in a way that I cannot yet fully understand...becoming better runner girls and lifelong friends. I am not even going to pretend that I am always the perfect mother. Sometimes my life is nothing but busyness and accomplishing 101 important tasks. And I feel like I fail. I will never be the mother that calls you to schedule a playdate or the girl that invites you over to dinner at my Pottery Barn table while serving asparagus with my signature pasta and homemade dessert.
But I do know this is a special happiness and love that we share. There are many things I can give her, but this is my very best...my passion and my heart...the thing that makes me better...my discipline. I do not think there is a better gift we can give to our children than earnest belief and confidence in what matters to them.
I could not ask for more than this soul connection that drives us to sweat and ache and pushes us closer to the finish line and then allows us to celebrate. We are both anticipating her first medal and there will be happy tears of joy and pride streaming down our cheeks.
And someday if she decides to become an astronaut or a teacher or a scientist, I will clap and cheer just as loudly.
This is about her...that brown-eyed, freckle-faced, tomboyish mini me .
And so to you, Natalia Noelle, I leave my legacy. I believe in you...your aspiration to become an “olympic runner,” your unconquered lands, your competitive instinct, your generous, caring spirit, and your huge personality. You are going to be the best runner girl I have ever known and you will look to the right and find me there running every step of the way next to you.
